Yep. It’s day 3 and I’m already making plans to get Catherine here by day 4. Eight days is insensible. Not healthy, not wise, definitely unsafe!
You see, I stayed home today. No plans. No adventure. No play dates. Just me and the boys. When is Catherine home again? Can we get her here by tomorrow night?
Because nothing eventful happen today, and that’s just as crazy as many things happening. All day long, no other adults, no other voices, just 2 toddlers asking for milk, food, Frozen, snow, juice, ice cream, monster trucks, toys, iPad games and time outside.
It was literally amazing and at the same time literally impossible. So many good moments of joy and learning and at the same time frustration and helplessness. (Any travel agents out there?)
It’s a pain, but I am super clean. I like the house clean, the toys in storage and all butts clean and proper. But Sebastián got a nappy rash, a big red spot in his bottom that said to me: “YOU SUCK!” “You left the diaper on way too long, You should have cleaned it quicker, better, faster…” And there I stood, listening to the loudest scream any human has ever heard, and it was definitely my fault. His pain was the sound of my failure, and no matter how hard I tried to be the best dad in 2014, I was still struggling with issues that began with Cain and Abel.
Parents are not perfect. I’m not even close to being perfect. And I guess that is one of the main lessons our children teach us. So thank you Alejandro and Sebastián for teaching me that I need Jesus, and I need Catherine and I need everyone who is willing to help.
My children remind me that I am broken, selfish and unwilling. And their tiny smiles are an invitation to die to myself again. To live for someone else. To be Jesus myself.
Today was uneventful. But probably eternally significant. It’s usually the days that don’t matter that make everything sync.
I love my sons more than ever, and I respect my wife more than ever. I guess that was a good lesson learned.
Deep Breath. Trust God. Nap more.