I remember the day my dad walked out on my mom for another woman. He left, never to turn back. Never took time to see that his daughters desperately needed his love.
All he cared about was his music and his drugs.
All I cared for… desperately… was his approval.
It’s funny (sad) what happens in life, the one thing that I never wanted to become, I became.
I have forgiven my dad, in part because I now understand the stronghold of addiction and the shame that goes along with it. Strangely, God used that to give me compassion for my father.The one thing I never thought I would become is a drug addict.
In fact, I swore, “That will never happen to me!”
But in my pursuit of approval, I fell in love with a man who beat me, shot at me and controlled me. The worst part was that even though I wanted to escape this relationship, I struggled with panic attacks at the thought of leaving.
I experienced sleepless nights riddled with the fear of being killed.
You see, I didn’t know why I was so afraid to leave this very sick relationship, because I did not know that I had daddy issues and I certainly did not know that I had a heavenly Daddy that was crazy nuts over me and wanted me more than anyone else (because I was His favorite).
Still am 🙂
Thankfully I got out of that abusive relationship, but the residue of pain was still haunting my soul. So, when the pain of all the abuse got too great, I turned to my new best friends: drugs and alcohol.
I was in my early twenties and had no idea of the path I was getting ready to walk down. A path that took my once kind-spirited, fun-loving-heart and turned me into a dirty liar who was selfish beyond measure.
Being that my dad was an addict and I had a genetically predisposition to addiction, it took no time for addiction to ruin my life.
I often wonder, how my life would have been different if I would have had known God sooner. I am sure He was running after me, but I was running my own life and doing a horrible job of it.
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5
As the addiction progressed, I left corporate America to work in the strip club industry to support my drug habit. I still remember the smell of my first time visit to the club: old men, cigarette smoke and mildew.
My plan was to cocktail waitress ONLY.
At the interview, they wanted me to try on the outfit that the waitresses had to wear so the manager could see me in it. And there I stood, in a line of job applicants, all scantily dressed as he said, ‘I will take you, you and you.”
Honestly, I was flattered to be of the three. Because I was getting the validation that I was worth keeping… and that felt so good.
But as time went on, I felt invisible, watching all of the attention the dancers received.
They had makeup artists who were hired to do their makeup and they had men giving them crazy amounts of attention… and oh yeah… the money!
Let’s not forget about the huge wads of money.
There I was, in need of their approval for my heart, and their money for my addiction.
So, I made a decision to step into that world of dancing for money.
I became a stripper.
I chose what I thought was the easy way, which ended up haunting me for years to come. If I could go back and do it again, God knows I would have chosen differently, but after leaving, it was my secret that I would never share with anyone (in fact, I swore I would take it to my grave).
But God had another plan.
And here I am today.
Fully aware (and extremely) grateful, that He loves to turn our messes into good.
When the teachers judge, Jesus welcomes. When the pharisees condemn, Jesus forgives. When the scribes reject, Jesus heals.
In spite of my rebellion, God had mercy on me. He revealed Himself to me in such a tangible way and I was changed forever.
The thing I was looking for in drugs I found in His presence. One moment in His presence and I was never the same. I was instantly free of addiction and instantly in love with my Maker… at a level that I can’t even express.
I am Daddy’s amazing, wonderful and cherished daughter and I know it from the depths of my soul.
Nothing can ever take that away from me!
The one thing I love about the Gospel is that, it truly is for everyone.
Even the one with the scarlet letter on her blouse.
In spite of my lying-selfish-cheating-self, Jesus died for me just as much as everyone else. In fact, He loves me so much that He went to great lengths (even to a Strip Club) to reach me, so that we could be reunited.
You see, I am radically loved by the lover of my soul. He sees me, He knows me and He wants to be with me. And just like I was radically touched by the beautiful Creator, He wants to touch others, even those who work in the adult entertainment industry.
What do I do now?
I go to strip clubs to love my sisters with the radical love of the Father, while bringing lipsticks with a message of hope. It’s strip church, for there we see God’s kingdom on earth.
I see their faces at night when I go to bed wondering what they are going through, wondering what lie they may believe about themselves and praying that I can make a difference because they are worthy of knowing God’s radical love.
And I wonder if the girls that work in those clubs today have any idea of how crazy the Father is about them.
Do YOU know?
Seriously guys, this is your truth: Abba Father is crazy about you!
Jesus is opening doors to strip clubs. Our church family is supporting us. And we at Lipstick Ministries live to share the love of the Father with grace, compassion and acceptance. Our mission is to share the radical love of Jesus with every woman in the adult entertainment throughout all of America with no strings attached.
We bring gifts to the girls in the strip clubs monthly (once we have more support we hope to do it every two weeks) and generate a trustworthy relationship with each individual dancer.
There are 4,000 strippers in America. 81 clubs here in the state of North Carolina. Global strip club revenue is 75 billion. And here in the United States, strip club revenue is 31 billion.
We are planning to change this.
And we are starting in our home state.
We meet people where they are at and we trust the Holy Spirit to bring conviction and transformation. Our ongoing strategy is love and compassion and with the strategy of Jesus, we visit the strip clubs.
Want to come?
Find our more about what we go to our website lipstickministries.com, share these good news with others and keep us in your prayers.
Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She answered, “No one, Lord!” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
+ Read More: 9 Reasons Why Sinner Went to Jesus, But Don’t Come To Us.