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The holidays are here. Thanksgiving dinner has arrived. The hatred starts today.

Go ahead. Start your passive aggression. Get your heart ready for annoying questions. Your relatives are here. Let the Hunger Games begin!

You know there is no stopping mama’s looks of disapproval, or dad’s awkward silence, or the sibling’s tease (which draws out the angry 7-year-old monster on the inside). And I know you “love” your family. But you don’t have to hide the rage anymore.

I have good news: Jesus talks about family hatred.

And He does it in a positive way!

You can now justify that emotion with the actual Good News. Because according to the Son of God, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”  Luke 14:26

Yep. That’s the Bible for you. It’s says the word hate. And then it says to use it with everyone sitting around your dinner table. 

The word hate in the greek is μισέω. Which is a verb. It’s transliteration is miseó. And the short definition is, “I hate, detest.” So there is no hidden message from Jesus here. The original word actually means hate. And I know it seems to contradict 99% of the things Jesus said in other instances but here it is very clear: Hate your family, God’s orders!

Seriously. Compared to how you love God, your affections for your family should be like hate. To be Jesus’ disciple you have to always choose Him. Always trust Him. Always follow Him.

Above everyone else.

However, the thing with choosing, trusting and following Jesus is that you will ultimately hate your selfish self. The one that wants to keep a grudge. The one who doesn’t want to show grace. The one who wants to serve himself and no one else.

So actually by “hating” your family and loving God above all else, you begin to love your family properly.

Follow Christ and you will find yourself denying your arguments and bitterness towards your relatives. The more you love God, the less you will be enamoured with your-self which will turn into the sweetest gift to your mom, dad, brothers, sisters, wife and kids. When you finally stop the pursuit of your benefits, you encounter the joy of living for others. And your family gets first dibs.

The hate Jesus is talking about is not petty or fleshy or evil. He’s talking about preferring Him. Which is the best thing you can do for all of them!

As you sit around the turkey, and the moment comes for you to speak up, address your different family members and say, “Thank You.” Just skip the easy, lets-get-this-part-over-with kind of thank you. Instead, do the real honour and gratitude of someone who has chosen Christ. Be the person who loves God and allows that loves to change everything about them (and everything around them). Stand before your family, surrender your offences to the cross and as you speak from the heart, become the mouthpiece of grace.

This is How To Properly Hate Your Family, by loving Abba Father so much, that you end up loving them as He does.

And if they still feel like your enemies, well, “I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Mat 5:4

Sorry, that text is in red. It means that Jesus said it. He has all your excuses covered.

He loves you as you are, but He loves you too much to leave you as you are. 

You are the remedy for family get-together.

So be grateful. Be humble. And get to hating – Gospel style.

Happy Thanksgiving!


PS. Today, I’m grateful that you read my blog.

It only takes 10 days, to change everything: