I was alone with my two toddler boys for eight days. Mama was away in England and I was here in madness land. I dealt with a lot of poo, attitude, tickles, snow and tiredness. Here is my journal:
Monday 8:00pm: Not good to have an energy drink this late. But I already miss Catherine. Mostly her patience, with the singing and the praying and the “another story please” shenanigans. This has to be the longest bed-time routine in the history of toddlerhood. And doing it alone is brutal. (She is one incredible lady!)
Thought of the day: The five seconds after I put the boys down and close the door are the scariest five seconds of my life.
Tuesday 1:01 pm: Just came back in from playing in the snow. Puertoricans have no resistance for this white devilish powder. Especially when the boys want me to make snowballs but I have no gloves… and, they end up throwing them back at my face. So my hands and my eyeballs are literally frozen.
Oh yeah, they want to go back out after nap time… NO!!!!!!!!!
Thought of the day: The only difference between reasoning with a toddler and banging your head against the wall is that you’d eventually get through the wall.
Wednesday 6:17am: Sebastián is up! Yeah at 6:17am. I had a four-hour sleep and I’m not a morning person. Not really a day person. I feel like I get to be the real “me” past 6:30pm. But it’s 6am so, “Get it together Mr. Mom!”
“Red Bull give me wings please”
Thought of the day: God made kiddos cute on purpose. It controls the throwing-them-out-the-window feeling. Thank you God that my boys are really, really cute.
Thursday 7:19pm: I’m cooking a nice meal for the boys. Carrots, kale, roasted potatoes and grilled chicken. They’re crying hard! They must be soooo hungry. “I should have done this earlier!” #lazybum
10 Minutes later… They’re crying cuz they hate the menu. “No food!” – “No más!” – “Not that, no more!”
10 Minutes later. Ice Cream.
10 Minutes later. Sugar High.
10 Minutes later. Ice Cream. For me. All for me.
Thought of the day: Only give your toddler as much food as you don’t mind picking off of the floor.
Friday 12:35pm: I just finished teaching a 3 hour Church Dynamics class at the School of Revival. Unfortunately for my incredible students, I sucked! Too tired to give my best. I blame the Daddy-Brain. And yes, single mothers are annoying! How can they handle this every day? It is beyond impossible to comprehend! (Feeling inadequate)
Thought of the day: “I miss them!” I’m at work. I have not seen the monsters for 4 hours and all I want to do is go back home and wrestle them. Is this self-hatred or true love?
Saturday 8:28pm: Alejandro was particularly helpful today (and for 10 minutes I feel like a winner.) So I took them to see their friends. Went for a walk in the woods. The boys got to make a mess in someone else’s room. Good to be out for a bit. Good to talk to adults for a change.
Thought of the day: I need more friends.
Sunday 7:10am: “Wow this feels so good. I should do it more often.” – Me brushing my teeth. Took them to church, came back for lunch and feed them Doritos. They are cheese with corn so it’s technically a casserole. And we had a great day together. Finished it off dancing hard to old school Hillsong (United We Stand. It’s eternally good.)
My sons are honestly my favorite guys in the world!
Thought of the day: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” Psalm 127:3
Monday 6:05pm: Back from work. Ready for the last night before mama comes back. Prayed to the Holy Spirit and chugged down a huge energy drink just before walking in…so wrestling/dancing/running around the kitchen time will be extra fun.
After eating Chick-Fil-A, I decide to take the boys for a short drive. One last outing alone with Dad. And to the dear driver behind me, “No, I’m not drunk. I have toddlers in the backseat. xo Me”
Thought of the day: Have your kids ever been so bad that you checked their foreheads for the mark of the beast?
Tuesday 3:00pm: Cleaning all day (more like giving instructions to the cleaning lady all day). Getting the boys and the house ready for mom’s return. Put in 20 push-ups to try to minimise the effect of eight days worth of junk food. But there is snow on the ground again. Flight are delayed. Mom is now stuck in Atlanta. The boys keep asking for her arrival.
And now it’s 7:30pm and they are throwing-up the kale I made for lunch. Looks like food poisoning. Should have stuck with Doritos.
Thought of the day: A really effective birth control campaign would be to live stream all the parents awake with toddlers right now.
Fortunately, just before midnight, mama got home! #PTL
But after more than 24 hours of travelling, she really needed me to be Mr. Mom for another 12 hours.
She’s so worth it. The boys are so worth it. So here we go!
Motherhood, Where you do the hardest job of your life on the least sleep you’ve ever gotten.
To all the single moms out there. No joke, send me an email and I will send you a free copy of my book, signed and with a word of encouragement (for the 20 minutes a year you have by yourself to read.) And if you are in the Raleigh area, email me twice and I will cook and deliver a nice rice and beans meal that will last you at least 3 days! Not even kidding.
This week reminded me again why you are the greatest heroes alive today. Your children, Jesus and I, are very grateful.
And if you are reading, but you’re not a single mom… get your act together and help one out! Or find parents of newborns who are home alone acting like the Walking Dead. Go out of your way and be nice to them. #GodIsWatching
ps. Thank You Kristen Wilcox, our personal saviour from Indiana. Thank you Hannah Smith, Amanda Frateshi, Lance and Lacey Hendrix and everyone else who helped in any way.
And Thank You Red Bull for the wings.
PS. I only had one Red Bull. But I do drink Amazing Grass Energy Green Superfood Lemon Lime Flavor. It’s a “Red Bull” that makes me not feel guilty about having an energy drink. It’s actually super good for you. Lots of healthy, hipster stuff in it. Don’t Judge. Enjoy.
PS 2. “Every problem must find it’s owner before we can ever offer a solution” Highly recommend: Danny Silk’s Loving Our Kids On Purpose Workbook: Preparing Our Kids For The Kingdom Of God.